What's Really Under Constantine's Column?

Interesting article over at Cabinet of Wonders: What's under Constantine's Column? So near and yet so far - it seems that only this Spring I was walking within feet of the kind of treasure that would make Indiana Jones wet his pants in excitement. This is because the latest claims for potentially the most spectacular haul of Biblical treasures comes from a secret chamber beneath Constantine's Column - the 1,700 year old Çemberlitaş (Burnt Column). [Jan Note: Oh, so it's a burnt column - probably God striking it with lightning after Constantine's death, that dirty old pagan blasphemer!] According to some, this chamber contains soil from Christ’s grave, original pieces and nails from the cross, a clay bowl, bread crumbs, a stone that belonged to Moses, a scepter believed to have belonged to Lot, an axe that belonged to Noah and a seven-armed candlestick believed to have belonged to Solomon -- all of which were thought to have been brought to İstanbul during the rule of the Emperor Constantine. A statement from Abdulkadir Akpınar, the CEO of Akpınar Architecture, overseeing the first stage of the restoration of Çemberlitaş, noted that underneath the column lies a magnificent two-and-a-half-meter-high and 11-by-11-meter block, and a porphyry plinth. According to him, “the sacred objects lie in a carved space in a small corner of this block.” This kind of thing should be easy enough to prove (and the source seems good) and if they can pull those goodies out it'll be the find of the century. Or is it all just Istan-bull? The origin of the wonders is fascinating: “According to historians Constantine sent his mother, Helen, to Jerusalem in 324, and while she was in Jerusalem, she had the grave of Jesus Christ opened up. She brought back with her to Jerusalem many sacred objects from the gravesite, including sacred soil, original pieces and nails from the cross, a sacred bowl made of clay, crumbs of bread, a stone that once belonged to Moses, a scepter believed to have belonged to Lot, Noah’s axe and a solid gold candlestick with seven arms said to have belonged to Solomon. This trip and Helen’s bringing back of these objects is documented very clearly in historical writings,” noted Akpınar, adding: “Then in 325 Emperor Constantine took over Rome and pagan Rome came to an end. Constantine had the temple to Apollo in Rome destroyed, and in fact even used stones from this temple in the building of Çemberlitaş.” Rest of post. So, Helen breaks into Jesus' tomb some 300 years after he died and, in addtion to bringing home "sacred soil" (one assumes, from Jesus' tomb), she also scores original pieces and nails from THE CROSS, a sacred bowl made of clay, crumbs of bread, a stone that once belonged to Moses, a scepter believed to have belonged to Lot, Noah’s axe and a solid gold candlestick with seven arms said to have belonged to Solomon. Yeah, right. I particularly appreciate the information about the "stone" that belonged to Moses, the "scepter" of Lot and Noah's axe. HA HA HA! Oh - and the bit about the breadcrumbs, somehow preserved (It's a Miracle, Darlings!) in the cold, moldy, damp stone tomb after 300 years. HA HA HA! Well, I know people have fallen for even sillier things, and later in history too, when they should have known better. For instance, there's Muhammad, and Joseph Smith, and Jim Jones. Never under-estimate the power of a con man to dupe people of pure heart who just want to believe in something.