Chess' Fearless Leader Has Spoken!

Reading between the lines, Kirsan is actually saying "Girls, I don't care if your butts may be in danger by playing chess in Nalchik. Suck it up. We're all going to have a good time pretending nothing, absolutely nothing is wrong." Er, I think Fearless Leader had better start wondering if his republic (Kalmaykia) might soon be on the terrorist Putin's short list of countries to invade during his spare time... Here's the official poop from FIDE: Dear chess friends! After having read the open letter of several participants of the forthcoming World Chess Championship in Nalchik (Republic of Kabardino-Balkaria, Russian Federation), I would like to make the following statement: The World Chess Federation is in close contact with the Russian Chess Federation and the Championship's Organising Committee. The FIDE delegation visited the city of Nalchik during 5-6 August and took part in the meeting of the Organising Committee. According to the information received, the preparation for the tournament has entered its final stages, and a lot of attention has been given to the issues of food, accommodation as well as the provision of all necessary security. [Meaning: I have accepted a lot of bribes and cannot back out now, unless I want to find a dead horse's head on my pillow tomorrow morning.] We are aware of the recent developments in South Ossetia, and would like to express our most sincere condolences to all who have become victims of this terrible tragedy. However, in the current situation I appeal to all not to mix politics and sport, and not to involve FIDE and the world chess community into political, territorial and other disputes. [Oh, this is rich, really rich, coming from a consummate chess politician who has single-handedly done more to f*ck up the world of chess through his years of interfering in local politics, particularly in third world countries.] All the issues should be settled at a chess board, and not beyond its limits. [Meaning: Girls, you cannot come up with enough money or other incentives to tempt me to do the right thing.] This issue is particularly critical during the days of the Olympic Games. [There goes Kirsan, marching off into the red sunset with his Chinese Communist Politburo buddies, har!] I am confident that we shall witness a very interesting World Championship in Nalchik [he's actually wondering whether any of the chess femmes will take a bullet between the boobs like I mentioned in this month's column at Chessville, and whether he can find a way to make money off such an event], which will be organized on a proper level. See you in Nalchik. We are one family. [Gag me - what a frigging hypocrite.] Kirsan Ilyumzhinov FIDE President Elista, 13 August 2008