Success!!! I Have Found A Black Dress!

Patra tiered dress with flutter sleeves

Hola, darlings!  It's certainly not a "little" black dress, ahem (the winning dress: right).  But it does fit, covers various figure flaws pretty well, and did not look too horrible (although I look nothing like the model).  It's probably 4 inches too long, so I'm going to take it to the tailor tomorrow and see if she thinks it can be hemmed without ruining the line.  Ideally, I would like it to hit at the bottom of the knee.  It's also a tad low cut for my taste (much lower cut on me than on the model), but what the hell, these days my boobs are about the only assets I have, aside from my "fine eyes."  LOL!  A drawback to the wide open and deep neckline is my farmer's tan issue!  No way to resolve it although I will desperately try self-tanning stuff to try and even out the color differential somewhat.  I'm going to have a two-toned v-neckline and bosom.  A zebra in a black ruffled dress.

This is one of two dresses I'd ordered from Macy's online, and this was one of two dresses that I ordered in a "W" size (for plus size woman - please, no jokes!)  The second Macy's dress (not a "W" size) is gorgeous and it fit me which, in and of itself, was a major shock, but the sleeves were too short and being part spandex, hugged in just the wrong spots too much on my awful upper arm; and while the dress looked fabulous straight on in my full-length mirror, when I turned to the side and looked at my profile - it was definitely a FAIL.  So, the second dress is going back.  Unfortunately, I also received someone else's order in my box!  Eek! The unwanted dress and the un-ordered blouse (? -- not sure if it is a blouse, a tunic, or a very short and thin dress) are going back to Macy's tomorrow. 

Mind you, darlings, the boxes that were waiting for me this evening (from Macy's and Kyonna via Catherine's online) contained the last three of seven dresses I'd ordered online.  After having sent back the first four dresses as EPIC FAILS and while waiting for the final three dresses to arrive (figuring that none of them would fit or be flattering, or both, either), I decided to go the "separates" route and thus an additional shopping expedition ensued!  I made my purchases, including a pencil skirt that fit but was far too long (hit my legs in exactly the wrong spot) -- and so I had my wardrobe for the St. Louis trip all planned.  And then tonight I tried on the Macy's dresses and - well, I changed my mind.  I decided to keep the Patra dress and take back the pencil skirt.  If I were being thrifty and wise, I'd keep the pencil skirt, pay for some tailoring, and send the much more expensive Patra dress back.  Oh well...

So - I must go back to Southridge Mall tomorrow night after work to return the pencil skirt. 

About dress seven --  The lace overlay dress I'd ordered from Catherine's (actually Kyonna brand) was gorgeous! It looked even better in person than the photographs online.  Unfortunately, what was supposed to be a size 0X (a Women's size), I didn't even bother to try on because it looks like a size 10.  I mean - really? The label on the dress said size 0 and it's a lie.  Did they send me a 0 instead of a 0X (for those unintiated, 0X is between 16 and 1X, which is where my measurements place me, GASP!) 

NOW comes the hunt for the final parts of a lady's outfit: perfect shoes and accessories!  I've already got my Saturday shopping expedition for shoes planned.  I scouted out shoes online and, amazingly, there is a shoe store near where I live and can easily get to that stocks the W and/or WW (width) that I need - and in fashionable styles!  GASP!  I wasn't kidding about teetering around in 3 inch heels.  That's nothing these days, when your 20-somethings teeter around in 5 inch plus heels with platforms.  Ohmygoddess, those are some damn ugly shoes.  The highest heel I ever wore was a 4 inch spike - and no platform!  That was in 1983, my second year in law school. I had a 23" waist and nice legs back then. My life could have taken a whole 'nother turn because of those heels...

But that's not a story I'll ever write here :)