From the partially-restored archives of the one, the only (thank goodness), the original and now defunct The International Chessoid, here's an "interview" (ahem) between Ace Girl Reporter Alpheta Patton and GM Judit Polgar.
February, 2000 Edition
YES! Believing is seeing – here’s the definitive proof. Our lovely Grand Master from Hungary, Judit Polgar, is in thrall to - an alien invader!
And not just ANY alien, but the one, the only, the original G’kar from the planet Narn!
Oh the horror, the horror!
After receiving a tip from Deep Goat, a very highly placed source within THE CHESS WORLD who, unfortunately, tends to hang his queen, this reporter, together with her faithful photographer and sidekick, Donus Felinucus, went undercover in January to the 10th City of Pamplona Invitational, where GM Judit Polgar was playing. This reporter, whose international reputation preceded me, was able to secure an exclusive interview with Polgar at the conclusion of the tournament.
Alpheta: Judit, you’ve recently been seen in the company of a, er, rather peculiar looking fellow.
Polgar: Oh, you mean Cary Grant!
Alpheta: Er, Cary Grant?
Polgar: Oh yes! And I’m so excited. We’re to be married! I’ve always loved him - those roles he played in "The African Queen", "The Maltese Falcon" and of course, "Casablanca", my personal favorite, with all those wonderful scenes of Cary over the chessboard sparring with the evil midget Peter Lorre.
Alpheta: Er...
Polgar: I’m not getting any younger you know, Alph. I’m going to be 24 in July! Both of my sisters are already married! I don’t want to be an old maid!
Alpheta: Er...
Polgar: A woman has to do the best for herself that she can, Alph. Hook up with a nice rich sugar daddy, that’s the ticket. I wouldn’t want to end up an old maid like you! Oh, no offense, Alph! I LOVE how you play chess.
Alpheta: Er...Just a blinking minute! How come you played like a patzer during this tournament, heh? Ha!
Polgar: Patzer, schmatzer. I’m in love! Who cares about chess? You need to get yourself a man, Alph.
Alpheta: [Comment deleted].
So there you have it! Nothing less than an evil inter-stellar plot to highjack the eggs of our lovely Hungarian GM and breed a miniature G’kar who will run for President of the United States in due course and introduce A NEW WORLD ORDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Could this be - oh no, oh the horror, the horror, THE ONE, THE ONLY, THE ORIGINAL ANTICHESS???)
Remember where you read it FIRST!!!!!!!!!!! THE INTERNATIONAL CHESSOID!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alpheta Patton, Old Maid and Proud of It, signing off...
February, 2000 Edition
YES! Believing is seeing – here’s the definitive proof. Our lovely Grand Master from Hungary, Judit Polgar, is in thrall to - an alien invader!
And not just ANY alien, but the one, the only, the original G’kar from the planet Narn!
Oh the horror, the horror!
After receiving a tip from Deep Goat, a very highly placed source within THE CHESS WORLD who, unfortunately, tends to hang his queen, this reporter, together with her faithful photographer and sidekick, Donus Felinucus, went undercover in January to the 10th City of Pamplona Invitational, where GM Judit Polgar was playing. This reporter, whose international reputation preceded me, was able to secure an exclusive interview with Polgar at the conclusion of the tournament.
Alpheta: Judit, you’ve recently been seen in the company of a, er, rather peculiar looking fellow.
Polgar: Oh, you mean Cary Grant!
Alpheta: Er, Cary Grant?
Polgar: Oh yes! And I’m so excited. We’re to be married! I’ve always loved him - those roles he played in "The African Queen", "The Maltese Falcon" and of course, "Casablanca", my personal favorite, with all those wonderful scenes of Cary over the chessboard sparring with the evil midget Peter Lorre.
Alpheta: Er...
Polgar: I’m not getting any younger you know, Alph. I’m going to be 24 in July! Both of my sisters are already married! I don’t want to be an old maid!
Alpheta: Er...
Polgar: A woman has to do the best for herself that she can, Alph. Hook up with a nice rich sugar daddy, that’s the ticket. I wouldn’t want to end up an old maid like you! Oh, no offense, Alph! I LOVE how you play chess.
Alpheta: Er...Just a blinking minute! How come you played like a patzer during this tournament, heh? Ha!
Polgar: Patzer, schmatzer. I’m in love! Who cares about chess? You need to get yourself a man, Alph.
Alpheta: [Comment deleted].
So there you have it! Nothing less than an evil inter-stellar plot to highjack the eggs of our lovely Hungarian GM and breed a miniature G’kar who will run for President of the United States in due course and introduce A NEW WORLD ORDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Could this be - oh no, oh the horror, the horror, THE ONE, THE ONLY, THE ORIGINAL ANTICHESS???)
Remember where you read it FIRST!!!!!!!!!!! THE INTERNATIONAL CHESSOID!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alpheta Patton, Old Maid and Proud of It, signing off...
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