Choosing a Bride in 13th Century Cairo

Choosing a bride in 13th-century Cairo

09/16/2011 17:07 By RENÉE LEVINE MELAMMED

Aside from being isolated and beaten regularly, she had married an inconsiderate, heartless and selfish man.

In 1219, Shlomo ben Elijah, a scribe, bookseller and teacher, known as the Melammed, wrote to his aunt, Umm Da’ud, asking for her daughter’s hand. It was not unusual to marry one’s first cousin, and Shlomo, who earned his living as a cantor and teacher in the community of Bilbays (north of Cairo), was certain that the daughter of his father’s sister would be a desirable bride. The question was, of course, whether he would be a desirable groom.

Shlomo’s father was the eminent judge Elijah ben Zechariah, who served in the rabbinic court of Fustat (old Cairo) with Abraham, the son of Maimonides. Shlomo was Elijah’s favorite son despite the fact that his firstborn, Abu Zikri, was a doctor and a far more pleasant person.

At any rate, Shlomo informed his aunt that he would be happy to wed his cousin Sitt al-Yumn. If she accepted his proposal, he’d come to Cairo for the wedding but stay for no more than 10 days; because teachers were employed privately, it was too risky to be away any longer. Although he was often in debt, he offered any bride payment (mohar) desired. Because his aunt knew he was considered to be sickly, he emphasized twice that he was in good health.

Letters found among the Cairo Geniza documents thus far do not include any reply, but we know that Shlomo’s offer was rejected because his aunt later wrote a letter to his older brother describing her daughter’s wedding. She mentions the groom’s name (the Arabic equivalent of Nathaniel), but Shlomo’s name is not mentioned in the letter at all. The aunt described the lovely kiddush in which her brother, the judge, was seated at the dais together with other important members of the community.

So whom did Shlomo marry? Apparently he turned to his mother’s side of the family in Alexandria and successfully arranged to marry Sitt Ghazal, the daughter of his mother’s sister.

The huppa was held in Alexandria; the young and somewhat spoiled bride was then whisked off to Fustat. Her father died soon after and Sitt Ghazal was truly miserable. Unfortunately, Shlomo had no comprehension of her situation and as Arieh Leo Motzkin discovered [“A Thirteenth-Century Jewish Teacher in Cairo,” Journal of Jewish Studies 21 (1970): 49-64], he elected to beat his bride.

Her father’s brother had now assumed responsibility for his teenage niece and explained to Shlomo that the girl desperately needed consolation for her loss and a bit of tender loving care rather than beatings. A move to Alexandria was suggested, but the groom claimed this was not feasible because there were not enough students from good families there to pay his salary.

Uncle Abu’l Barakat tried to persuade Shlomo to employ common sense, compassion and a bit of psychology in order to help improve this horrible domestic situation. He begged the groom not to ruin his niece’s life and tried to encourage her directly via letters. However, it turned out that Sitt Ghazal had more than ample reason to be depressed. Aside from being isolated and beaten regularly, she had married an inconsiderate, heartless and selfish man.

To add to her troubles, Shlomo’s wife miscarried in the fifth month of her pregnancy; when she finally gave birth to a daughter, the infant died at the age of three months. Her husband was convinced that she was feigning illness in order to avoid work. The description of her that he himself provides reflects the seriousness of her mental health: she ceased to wear any makeup or even comb her hair. Shlomo was oblivious to the fact that his wife was unable to cope with all the losses she has sustained on her own; apathy was a direct result. Unfortunately, there was no happy end (or even divorce papers) for this couple, or at least, nothing more has been discovered thus far in the Cairo Geniza documents.

Renée Levine Melammed is a professor of Jewish history and dean at the Schechter Institute as well as academic editor of the journal Nashim. She has published books and articles on Sephardi and Oriental Jewry and on Jewish women.

When Women Ran Synagogues

Very interesting.  What I call "the St. Paul influence that succeeded eventually in shutting females out from any meaningful role in the Roman, Orthodox and Coptic christian churches also succeeded in shutting them out from any meaningful role in Jewish synagogues.  But there was a time when women held positions of great authority in the early christian churches and, it turns out, at least in some synagogues.

From The Jerusalem Post
His/Her Story: A woman 'head of the synagogue'
By RENÉE LEVINE MELAMMED
06/10/2011 16:55

As it turns out, the evidence available about women in the Greco-Roman Diaspora is distinctive and, at times, quite difficult to interpret.

Jews living in the Greco-Roman Diaspora in the period known as late antiquity (second/third centuries until the fall of the Empire in the fifth century) had experiences that differed considerably from those in the Land of Israel. This held true for women as well as men. As it turns out, the evidence available about women is distinctive and, at times, quite difficult to interpret.

One Greek inscription in particular has long attracted the attention of scholars in the field. This inscription is from Smyrna (modern-day Izmir), located in Asia Minor (modern Turkey), and was commissioned in the second or third century by a woman named Rufina.

While the name Rufina is Latin, the dedicator immediately identified herself by the Greek term Ioudaia. This term is unusual in inscriptions otherwise thought to be Jewish, and suggests that it was important for Rufina. It may even suggest that she wasn’t born Jewish, but converted at some point in her life. The second detail recorded was that she was the archisynagogos, the head (or possibly the president) of the synagogue.

Bernadette Brooten discussed this woman, as well as others, in her path-breaking book, Women Leaders in the Ancient Synagogue (1982). Ross S. Kraemer has also translated and included this inscription (most recently in Women’s Religions in the Greco-Roman World: A Sourcebook, 2004) and has attempted to reconstruct the life of Rufina on the basis of four sentences that appeared on the marble plaque. (See the fascinating article in Jewish Women in Historical Perspective, Judith Baskin, ed., 2nd ed., 1998.) In order to pay for such a substantial inscription, Rufina had to have had some wealth of her own; after all, she owned the burial site. Because the tomb was for “her freed slaves and the slaves raised in her household,” it is possible that she was head of her household. One can only conjecture as to how her wealth was accumulated. Other inscriptions reveal additional Jewish women who were independent and active in the public realm.

Note that there is no evidence regarding the presence of rabbis in these communities; at this time, there are Greek terms to designate teacher, such as sophodidaskalos (teacher of wisdom) or nomodidaskalos (teacher of law), but the developments in the Land of Israel are not reflected in the Greco-Roman Diaspora of late antiquity.

Some women possibly attended synagogue services and appear to have been active members, donors and leaders. The titles they received do not seem to be derived from their fathers or husbands, but then again, it is not entirely clear what exactly constituted a synagogue in second- or third-century Smyrna.

The continuation of the inscription is also revealing. Rufina paid to include the fact that this burial place was hers, and that no one should dare to use it for other burials. She listed a double fine for all transgressors, who, if caught, would have to pay the “sacred treasury” as well as the Jewish community (possibly a legal entity).

It was also stated that the public archives had a copy. While it was not unusual to pay the local treasury or the community, this extra double insurance policy was less common. Kraemer explains that this is an indication that she was connected in some way to the non-Jewish community.

Note that no men are mentioned in this inscription. No one knows if Rufina was single or married, a widow, a mother or a grandmother. At the same time, she seems to be free of male control, making her own decisions, using her own finances, owning her own slaves, negotiating her own arrangements both for the burial place as well as for the protection she was offering those buried there. It is fascinating to see how much (or little) can be learned on the basis of four sentences commissioned by an elite woman from second- or third-century Smyrna.

The writer is a professor of Jewish history and the dean at the Schechter Institute, as well as academic editor of the journal Nashim. She has pupublished books and articles on Sephardi and Oriental Jewry and on Jewish women.