We Televise Spelling Bees! Why Not Chess?

Hola everyone! Oh its hot and muggy here and it rained, but not enough to make a difference to my parched lawn. The same weather is supposed to be here for the next 4 days, long enough to totally ruin the weekend. Sigh. I kid you not, right now (7:00 p.m. CST - or is that CDT? I can never keep it straight) I've got the ABC station affiliate on and there are 15 finalists in LIVE COVERAGE competing for the "National Spelling Bee Championship." Oh my goddess! A spelling bee with kids on national television for the next two hours - and chess can't PAY to get itself broadcast! There is definitely something wrong with this picture... Yes I know, I know, I've read the arguments about how chess is "boring" - excuse me? Anyone who says that doesn't know a THING about the incredible hit movie "Searching for Bobby Fischer." The way the tension was built-up between the good kid and the "bad" kid (who was smirkingly excellent in the role, by the way) that led to that penultimate game when Josh brought out his queen "too early" - goddess, I get goosebumps just writing about it here. There are obviously ways to bring excitement and audience involvement to a game like chess. Hell, if people can sit glued to the television set for hours watching men swing clubs at balls on a golf course, surely we can make chess interesting - sexy, even. And I'm not talking about speed chess. An event like the Candidates' Matches going on right now in some place called Elista can be made very exciting for an audience, even if they aren't familiar with chess. First of all, you do a brief "get to know" the players - like they do for the Olympics - video clips and sound bites, a little family background and history of how he/she got from there to here for each two players in a match. You personalize the players for the audience, let the audience get to see some of the personalities involved in this great game. Then you give a clear overview of the rules of competition - six games in the first round and how the points are scored, and only three from the first round of six games will go on to the second half. That's enough drama for anyone to understand. And it doesn't hurt that large sums of money are involved and, for the winners of the Candidates' Matches, the chance to go for the BIG ONE - the World Championship. Do a chart like the football commentators do during the play-offs to show the possibilities. Guys love charts! Then you show highlights of each match, crucial points in the games where a player either made a good move or made a not so good move. You have lively commentary/review of the games by a couple different teams - preferably one man and one woman on each team - experienced players who know what they're talking about - and they switch off commenting on the matches. I know it's sexist, but one woman should be attractive and one man should be a hot hunk. Let's face it - eye candy appeals to a certain audience type (like me). The other man and woman commentators could be more the "elderly statesman/woman" type. Think "Dick Button and Peggy Fleming" doing figure-skating commentary on ABC - Fleming is as beautiful, gracious and likeable as ever and Button is to figure skating what John Madden is to NFL football. Older man/younger woman; older woman/younger man. These ideas aren't anything that hasn't been done before - think about golf again - it's routine for the initial shots at each hole to be shown and the action jumps around from player to player, and then the action concentrates on the green and the putting - or if someone lands in a "dramatic situation" such as the rough or a sand-trap or in front of a tree! The commentators and the camera work build up the drama - close-ups of the players' faces, whispered commentary into the mike explaining what's at stake and just what the odds are of making a 25 foot putt going uphill with the green cut slanting the other way, etc. etc. Hell, I don't know a think about golf and I've watched it for years and enjoy it. I'd love watching a summary of an important game/match/tournament on t.v. But, darlings, not on cable television, please. I don't subscribe.