Oy! Ice Storm

Oh darlings, what a day today. I knew I shouldn't have gone into the office, I knew it! When I got up at 6 a.m., in the pitch black, it was pouring down snow. Earlier I'd heard rain beating against the west side of the house. Not a good sign, particularly on top of the now shrunk down and hopelessly compacted foot of snow already on the ground. I got up, put on my waterproof slippers (they have 3 inch rubber soles that go up along the sides of the boot, the most amazing slippers ever made) and I performed a miracle by walking on top of slush/ice/snow (without ever sinking once!!!) the 30 plus feet from the front porch to the mail box at the curb. I had my coffee, I made and ate a cheese sandwich on hearty rye with mayo to sustain myself for the battle to come, and whilst listening to tales of spin-outs, accidents and lots of official and business cancellations and dire warnings to stay at home if you could, I headed out the door to walk the shorter 1/2 mile course to catch the 7:50 a.m. bus rather than my usual 7:40 a.m. bus that stops 3/4 mile away on another road. With the entire school district shut down for the day, it was blissfully peaceful on the bus - for all five of us passengers who were stupid enough to actually go to work (other than the perhaps even more stupid bus driver)... Of course, it was a Day from the Annals of Hell. Bossman was in rare form - guess he must have got his shoes a bit wet this morning in the slush, tch tch. He was Hell on Wheels from the minute he butted his head into my office (the first of - I swear - at least 100 interruptions during the course of the day, not including the lunch hour when I wasn't there) until the moment I snuck out while he was in the men's room, about 4:14 p.m. I'm so fricking sore, I can't even describe what my muscles are feeling like. After climbing over countless snowbanks during the half mile trudge home from the bus, I had to climb over a 3 foot high snowbank at the base of my driveway (it had been plowed in - AGAIN). I then slogged my way up the 30 foot driveway. Fortunately, a box containing the new waterproof Sorel boots I'd ordered through Zappo's online last night were sitting on my front porch. Nice work Zappo's! You guys have my business from now on. Talk about timely, geez! So, I peeled myself out of my waterlogged formerly water-resistant knee high boots, and put on my new Sorels. I then attacked the 100 pounds weight per square inch snow with my trusty shovel. I worked for a lot less time than I thought - about 40 minutes. Only long enough to hack out a pathway for myself from front porch to roadway and mailbox. Enough to permanently damage both of shoulders, permanently cripple my elbows and hips, not to mention my lower back. Even my legs, which are the strongest part of my body, are aching right now. So tonight I'm not going to be blogging as usual, or updating Chess Femme News, or doing Christmas shopping, or even my beloved historical research. I've got the much inferior 1974 remake of "Miracle On 34th Street" on t.v. and after it's over I'm going to soak in a full tub of hot water until I fall asleep and drown myself. By candlelight. Then the house will burn down - but only after the gigantic Chinese Elm that towers so majestically over the roof finally succumbs to the weight of its ice-coated limbs and crashed through the roof, second floor, and first floor to the basement. My body won't burn, though, since I will be submerged in the tub and by morning turned into a gigantic Jan icecube that can be buried in, sans casket. That will save my estate money. Unfortunately, since I'll be dying intestate, the bulk of my estate other than my pension, 401(k) and life insurance (which goes to designated beneficiaries) will go to my undeserving relatives rather than to the Goddesschess Foundation to fund women chessplayers for the next 10 plus years. Hmmmm, maybe I can't croak tonight after all... I've got to do a Will and Trust first. Geez!