Monday, June 1, 2009

Monday Night Miscellany - Say What!?!

Yeah, what the heck. It's not Friday night. I've been too tired on Fridays for the past few months t0 do a full-fledged, or even a half-fledged, edition of Friday Night Miscellany. But today I feel energized - wonder if it has anything to do with the thunderstorms that rumbled through the area this morning? Scary stuff, actually - thunderstorms. As of this moment (5:50 p.m. CST), no word yet on the fate of that French 330A airbus that took off from Rio toward Paris last night. But at this point, there is no hope whatsoever that the jet, or its passengers, survived. From what I understand, the jet encountered a large area of extreme turbulence and the last message received, which was an automated message, was that the jet had electrical problems. Of course, Air France says the craft was struck by lightning, trying to deflect any possibility that the jet's electrical system may not have been able to withstand a mega-event. Well, what the hell do I know - nothing, darlings, nothing. Whatever happened, I hope it was fast and painless for the 228 souls on-board. T-storms are threatening here again tonight. The local weather has been extreme. Today started out cool (in the low 50's), and then there was a downpour; and then the sun came out and it was a steam bath (I understand it got up to at least 80)! About 3:30 p.m. the winds started shifting from the west to the northeast (off Lake Michigan), and the great temperature drop began. I closed down all the windows and the patio door. It's downright cold out there right now, but the winds have abruptly abated (it's now 6:00 p.m.) Whether we get rain tonight or not, tomorrow is not expected to get out of the low 50's. May as well be back in fricking March. GIMPY SQUIRREL UPDATE: I was pleased as punch to spot Mr. Gimpy Squirrel out in the yard late this afternoon, it was right around the time the wind started shifting and I was closing the patio door. When I saw him down there I quickly launched individual in-shell almonds into the general area. Sure enough, about 5 minutes later I noticed Mr. Gimpy Squirrel dragging his way laboriously up the Big Tree, but this time he was on the left-hand trunk, not the right-hand trunk! What gives, I thought. But I got distracted with other things and went inside. When I next looked out, Mr. Gimpy Squirrel had climbed the tree and was up on a high, sturdy branch (where I had spotted him a few days ago), and I could tell he had an almond in his paws! I do hope he figured out how to break through the shell and eat the nut-meat. I think he did. Although he moved out of sight, I stationed myself on the deck, wrapped in my jacked and an afghan against the cold wind from the northeast, and I could hear "crunch crunch" noises coming from an area on the Big Tree where I think Mr. Gimpy was. So, now the question is whether I should attempt to stuff some almonds into the hidey-hole that Mr. Gimpy has found in the pile of logs along the north fence line (for the next week, month, year, years?), or if I should content myself with continuing to toss the nuts into the general area, with perhaps an extra-large cupful of "critter mix." Okay - moving to other things... SOCIAL SECURITY BENEFITS: I'm pleased to learn today from the Social Security Administration that, should my earnings maintain their current level, I will be entitled to a monthly retirement benefit at age 66 and 4 months of $1,719.00 a month. Of course, that is before mandatory deductions for Medicare premiums, which by the time I retire will probably wipe out about half of my monthly SS benefit; and despite the fact that I will be mortgage free upon reaching retirement age, my property taxes will probably eat up whatever is left of my SS benefit. So I'll be left with whatever I've managed to accumulate in my 401(k) plans and miniscule pension from the old Office World (I don't even want to go there, darlings!), plus various other investments, all of which absolutely suck at the moment, and if history is any predicator, will suck again right around the time I's rady to retire. With luck, I may be able to afford one or perhaps even two $5.00 foot-longs from Subway each and every month. Gee, I'm thrilled. Can't you tell? BACHELORETTE: Tonight the lovely lass from America's 52nd state (Canada) is back on prime-time juggling the attentions of some 20 bachelors, at least, I think that is the current count. It's so easy to lose track on these shows. Not that I should be watching such prime time dreck at all, that's what I keep telling myself. But I watch it anyway, damn the dreck! So tonight Jillian, the erstwhile heroine from Canada, will smooch it up and play ballsy-pallsy with various types of age-eligible young men. I cannot understand why the guy with the foot fetish is still in the show. He's not good-looking and he's positively creepy! What is the matter with you, Woman? Why didn't you ditch the dude the first chance you got? Arggggh! Guess it really is true that the show's results are now totally rigged and G (J?) really has no choice in the matter, in a sorry attempt by the show's producers to maintain viewer interest and/or attract new viewers. Barf me. Now, let's get into some really interesting stuff! SUSAN BOYLE: I want to make this clear. I love Susan Boyle's voice. Tone for tone, I think she far-outclasses any of the other singers I've heard on American Idol and certainly any other singer I've watch on youtube.com from "Britain's Got Talent," other than Katherine McPhee. Age-wise and "hotty-wise," McPhee has it all over Ms. Boyle, but when it comes to voice, I choose Susan's. In my opinion, the way Ms. Boyle was treated by the British tabloids the past few weeks is absolutely actionable under libel laws, even those in Great Britain (which, basically, do not exist at all). I hope, I sincerely hope, that each and every one of those reporters with by-lines (and all of those unmentionables who contributed to the by-line stories) ROT IN HELL FOREVER AND EVER, with the DEVIL PUTTING HIS PITCHFORK UP YOUR BUTT 60 TIMES A MINUTE. When Susan Boyle's first CD comes out, I will stand in line to buy it, if necessary.

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