In India, New Seat of Power for Women

Story from the Washington Post Prospective Brides Demand Sought-After Commodity: A Toilet By Emily WaxWashington Post Foreign Service Monday, October 12, 2009 NILOKHERI, India -- An ideal groom in this dusty farming village is a vegetarian, does not drink, has good prospects for a stable job and promises his bride-to-be an amenity in high demand: a toilet. In rural India, many young women are refusing to marry unless the suitor furnishes their future home with a bathroom, freeing them from the inconvenience and embarrassment of using community toilets or squatting in fields. About 665 million people in India -- about half the population -- lack access to latrines. But since a "No Toilet, No Bride" campaign started about two years ago, 1.4 million toilets have been built here in the northern state of Haryana, some with government funds, according to the state's health department. Women's rights activists call the program a revolution as it spreads across India's vast and largely impoverished rural areas. "I won't let my daughter near a boy who doesn't have a latrine," said Usha Pagdi, who made sure that daughter Vimlas Sasva, 18, finished high school and took courses in electronics at a technical school. "No loo? No 'I do,' " Vimlas said, laughing as she repeated a radio jingle. "My father never even allowed me an education," Pagdi said, stroking her daughter's hair in their half-built shelter near a lagoon strewn with trash. "Every time I washed the floors, I thought about how I knew nothing. Now, young women have power. The men can't refuse us." Indian girls are traditionally seen as a financial liability because of the wedding dowries -- often a life's savings -- their fathers often shell out to the groom's family. But that is slowly changing as women marry later and grow more financially self-reliant. More rural girls are enrolled in school than ever before. A societal preference for boys here has become an unlikely source of power for Indian women. The abortion of female fetuses in favor of sons -- an illegal but widespread practice -- means there are more eligible bachelors than potential brides, allowing women and their parents to be more selective when arranging a match. "I will have to work hard to afford a toilet. We won't get any bride if we don't have one now," said Harpal Sirshwa, 22, who is hoping to marry soon. Neem tree branches hung in the doorway of his parents' home, a sign of pride for a family with sons. "I won't be offended when the woman I like asks for a toilet." Satellite television and the Internet are spreading images of rising prosperity and urban middle-class accouterments to rural areas, such as spacious apartments -- with bathrooms -- and women in silk saris rushing off to the office. India's rapid urbanization has also contributed to rising aspirations in small towns and villages. On a crowded highway that runs into this village, about 170 miles north of New Delhi, young women, once seen clinging to the backs of motorbikes driven by their fathers or husbands, now drive their own scooters. One recent popular TV ad shows a rural girl sheepishly entering a scooter showroom, then beaming as she whizzes through the parking lot on her new moped. With economic freedom, women are increasingly expecting more, and toilets are at the top of their list, they say. The lack of sanitation is not only an inconvenience but also contributes to the spread of diseases such as diarrhea, typhoid and malaria. "Women suffer the most since there are prying eyes everywhere," said Ashok Gera, a doctor who works in a one-room clinic here. "It's humiliating, harrowing and extremely unhealthy. I see so many young women who have prolonged urinary tract infections and kidney and liver problems because they don't have a safe place to go." Previous attempts to bring toilets to poor Indian villages have mostly failed. A 2001 project sponsored by the World Bank never took off because many people used the latrines as storage facilities or took them apart to build lean-tos, said Ranjana Kumari, director of the Center for Social Research in New Delhi, who worked on the program. But by linking toilets to courtship, "No Toilet, No Bride" has been the most successful effort so far. Walls in many villages are painted with slogans in Hindi, such as "I won't get my daughter married into a household which does not have a toilet." Even popular soap operas have featured dramatic plots involving the campaign. "The 'No Toilet, No Bride' program is a bloodless coup," said Bindeshwar Pathak, founder of Sulabh International, a social organization, and winner of this year's Stockholm Water Prize for developing inexpensive, eco-friendly toilets. "When I started, it was a cultural taboo to even talk about toilets. Now it's changing. My mother used to wake up at 4 a.m. to find someplace to go quietly. My wife wakes up at 7 a.m., and can go safely in her home." Pathak runs a school and job-training center for women who once cleaned up human waste by hand. They are known as untouchables, the lowest caste in India's social order. As more toilets come to India, the women are less likely to have to do such jobs, Pathak said. "I want so much for them to have skills and dignity," Pathak said. "I tell the government all the time: If India wants to be a superpower, first we need toilets. Maybe it will be our women who finally change that."

Fatricide for Property

Story reported at regionaltimes.com October 28, 2008 Woman accuses brothers-in-law of killing her husband to occupy his property By Younis Chandio HYDERABAD: A woman namely Ms. Zaiban, widow of Manzoor Jat, resident of village Chak No.56 near Sanghar staged a protest demonstration outside the Hyderabad press club, alleging her two brothers-in-law of killing her husband to grab property and throwing her out of home after snatching her two children. She told newsmen that she was married to Manzoor son of Nazir by caste Jat Punjabi and was living peacefully with her husband and 3 children. She said two brothers of her husband namely Naseer and Baseer wanted to grab the property of her husband that included also 32 acres agriculture land. She alleged that on 5th October 2008 her husband’s elder brother killed her husband over a quarrel. She told that accused Naseer was arrested by police. The next day her husband’s another brother from Multan arrived at her home Sanghar and allegedly after torturing her involved her in her husband’s murder. She said he took away her two children 8-year son Zulfiqar Ali and 3 and half years daughter Zunera and threw her out of her home.She complained that her brother in law has grabbed her and her husband’s all property which includes 32 acres agriculture land, two shops, 4 residential houses in Sanghar town, one plot at Hyderabad bus stand, cash in bank account, one motor cycle, 15 goats, 3 buffaloes, their home with furniture and fixtures. She further alleged that Baseer also got prepared a false divorce paper (Talaq Nama) in her name. Woman [notice, now she doesn't even have a name] said she has no place to live. She also expressed fear of life. She demanded action against her husband’s both brothers and recovery of her family’s land and other property from them. She also demanded protection to her life. An human rights body Peace and Human Rights Trust wanted to help her but an official from women development center in Hyderabad took her to the center with promise to provide her required help.

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What is most striking about this article is not the fact that such horrific acts are still being carried out with, basically, impunity, under the current local judicial system in this Indian state; it's that the rest of the article includes news about sewer charges and the celebration of Diwali; it's that this kind of horror story - the murder of a man for his property by his brother(s), the abduction of his children, the torture of his wife, the production of false papers to prove a non-existent divorce to further dispossess the wife of her widow's property - is nothing out of the ordinary! Just another day in the course of a poor woman's life in India. For Shame, India. For Shame!

A Tale of Two Females in India

From Merinews.com ritu sejwal, 10 April 2008, Thursday Scene one: People worshipping goddess Lakshmi. Scene two: A woman brutally tortured by her in-laws for dowry! What a contrast! And you can witness both in India. One female is revered and the other is burnt! Why? RIYA (NAME changed) – a girl with a dream to be like her idol Barkha Dutt. A dream to have her individual identity, and to prove the allegations wrong that ‘women are made for kitchen’. Riya belongs to Chappra district of Bihar. She has an aim to do something new that has never been tried by anyone from her district. Riya, with big dreams but with fewer options, came to Delhi to crack an all India journalism entrance exam – a first step towards her dream. Being from a middle class joint family, she never got the due attention she deserved. She always received halfhearted support from her family. “I always wanted to perform well in my exams but due to my family restraints, I was not able to give proper attention to my studies, and did not score up to my expectations,” she said in a disappointing tone. In Delhi, she manages her studies, along with household work that includes cleaning, cooking, filling water, to name a few. “My aunty, who lives with me in Delhi, is unwell and never tries to understand my problems.” She always sacrificed her feelings and her desires for the good of the family. “I am aware that I will be competing for an all India level entrance, I need to give time to my studies and for that, one should be mentally satisfied and do roti pet mein honi chahiye (stomach should be full), only then one can study properly,” she said with a helpless tone. Full of frustration and a will to achieve her dreams, she is a true fighter! After an interaction with her, my problems looked so small! India is a country where goddesses are worshiped. Girls are associated with ’Durga’, ’Lakshmi’, and as powerful as Rani Lakshmi Bai. But, still women die within the ‘four walls’ of the house, serving the family without complaining. Number of schemes are introduced for empowerment of women, but how many of those benefit hundreds of girls like Riya, who are made to sacrifice at every point, from their childhood till their marriage and by in-laws after marriage?