Saturday, November 22, 2008

Friday Night Miscellany - One Day Late

Hola Darlings! I worked last week Saturday 3.5 hours; today I worked 5 full hours. I could work 125 full hours and not get caught up, eek! The problem, of course, is the relatively new (but undeclared) firm policy that all administrative staff must "support" three people with billable hours. New support staff is not being hired, nor are admin people. Those of us who are here are expected to just "do more." Well, there is only so much one can do for three very busy billers in 37.5 hours a week. All the admin stuff I used to have time to do (years ago) during regular working hours is now done hit-or-miss as I can squeeze it in - or not at all. So, I decided recently to work a few Saturdays a month, in an attempt to put a dent in the backlog of work I have. Believe me, I HATE giving up any portion of my precious Saturdays and no amount of overtime pay can make up for that, but things are a horrid mess in my office. I cannot get done what needs to be done between 8:30 a.m. and 5 p.m. As long as the firm wants to pay me for OT, I will grudgingly put in the extra hours. Sigh. I did not get home from the office (with a stop at the supermarket) until 3:50 p.m. this afternoon. My whole day - gone! Now I'm frantically playing catch-up! However, I did take some time out to feed my fat and sassy squirrels. I whistled out the patio door when I got home, loaded down with a fresh pound of mixed nuts (in shell), and they came running! Walnuts are the big favorite, but pecans are a close-second. Any of the mixed nuts, though, is preferred over the lowly peanuts that I also toss out in abundance. Geez - I'm spending a fortune on the best fed squirrels in Milwaukee County! LOL! There is good news, though. This morning, I pulled out a pair of jeans I had not worn for probably four years (they were far too tight around the waistline) and I was able to jump into them with practically no struggle at all! Wow - this weight loss/exercise program is showing tangible results in the figure department! Used to be I'd have to tug and pull and then more tug and pull and then lay down on top of the bed and shimmy/pull the rest of my way into those jeans, and then getting the waist band snapped close - that was a whole 'nother chore! No more - that's a thing of the past! WOW! I hardly had to suck it in at all to get the waist band snapped close. Amazing! So - although I have not dropped any more pounds (can you spell P-L-A-T-E-A-U) my body is definitely shifting the rest of its fat reserves around thanks to dancing to the Moulin Rouge version of Lady Marmalade five nights a week! I also do the We Will Rock You commercial featuring Britney Spears (I can never remember how the heck to spell her name), Beyonce and Pink. Let me tell you, Pink really rocked in that commercial, holy smoke! I play all three parts and dance around the den like a maniac, shaking my booty like there's no tomorrow, shimmying, stretching, pumping my arms, swishing my hips 180 degrees, snapping my hair as if it were long (it isn't -- I had it cut off in a short version of Victoria Beckham), all the while shouting at myself in between breaths 'MOVE MOVE' when I think I'm going to have a heart attack and drop dead on the spot. It's working. I'm up to 30 minutes of mostly high intensity "dancing" and curves are starting to appear out of what used to be blubber. There's still blubber to get rid of - it will take awhile - but it took awhile to put this blubber on. I proudly earned every pound, darlings, and enjoyed each and every ounce along the way! When I started out this "excercise" program (a desperate attempt to increase physical activity since the weather rules out yard work and any length of walking during lunch hour), I could not even dance to the entire rendition of "Smooth." Now I can do five "Smooth"s in a row with less than a minute breather in between, but that's a bit boring, I like to mix up my music videos. Thank Goddess for YouTube! Here's some "Miscellany" stuff for your pleasure. Take a look at these totally misleading headlines! Ridiculous! "Screaming Mummy" Is Murderous Son of Ramses III? This week's contribution from the National Geographic - which used to be a class act but, unfortunately, has degenerated in a desperate attempt to make money. Hell, memberships, which used to cost $35 a year (including the magazine), are now going for $15 a year! What? It's true, darlings! The Great Depression really IS here! Back to topic - the article DOES explain (several paragraphs in) that the "death scream" is the result of a very natural process of decomposition/decay of a corpse (even in a supposedly "frozen in time" mummy). In historical times - well into the early 20th century before "wiring" of jaws became commonplace in embalming procedures, it was routine to tie a red cloth underneath the jaw tied in a bow at the top of the head, in an attempt to prevent the "yawn of death" from occurring in the death. (the use of the color red is a whole different topic). That is why, for instance, in the 1951 version of the movie "Scrooge" (based on "A Christmas Carol," written by Charles Dickens in the early-mid 1800's) you see the ghost of Jacob Marley untie what looks like a rag from around his face, and then his jaw drops in a horrible exaggerated manner! The death scream or yawn of death - seen on the cinema screen! I can imagine the screams that evoked back then! I certainly has a certain YECH factor. I also recall seeing in the 1990's version of "Scrooge" a scene where Scrooge (played by the actor formerly known as Captain Jean-Luc Picard of Star Trek, the Next Generation) is at the funeral and they show the body of Marley in the coffin, Marley's face tied up with a red cloth (true to what was written in the original novel). What is misleading, of course, is that even if one dies a horrible death by slow poison or torture, or the worst possible death you can possibly imagine, once rigor mortis releases its grip on the body (and it always does), the corpse is totally maleable. So even if one dies screaming with eyeballs bulging out of the sockets, that is not what one sees in the coffin. This is a basic lesson from CSI:101. We, in the western world of the 2oth and 21st century, so removed from death and what follows with respect to the corpse make horror movies out of a basic natural process. Geez.
Here is the second headline: Were Neanderthals stoned to death by modern humans? Makes it sound like a bloodthirsty horde of so-called "modern" humans deliberately hunted down and stoned to death the last few survivors of "primative" Neanderthal man. What a bunch of crap! The actual article is about innovation in the crafting of stone tools that may have given so-called "modern" humans an edge in hunting, etc. over so-called "Neanderthal" man. A lot of bunkum, but heck, maybe they get paid per word, just like Charles Dickens did back in the day, darlings. Okay, I'm starving, nothing to eat all day but 2 pieces of toast with my coffee this morning. I didn't intend to work as long as I did and I always intended to run out and get a Jimmy John's sub (they are lower fat than Cousins), but I never did. Now it's time to go downstairs and cook up some oven-baked pork chops - low fat, nutritious and, best of all, delish!

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